Anyway, happy chinese new year! Time to dress up, receive and give, and to eat like the word 'diet' doesn't exist. I said that cny is my second favourite holiday of the year behind Christmas but this year somehow seemed different, and not in a very good way. It could be because I technically didn't wear brand new clothes. I mean I've never worn them before (at most once, but the people I visited have not seen me wear it), but I bought them like weeks and even months before. I bet you're like "no big deal people do that all the time!" but for me, the clothes I wear affect my mood for real. I just didn't think I looked my best you know? Yeah, putting pressure on myself to look good...it happens.
And cny is also the infamous period when everyone just decides to post outfit photos on Instagram which is great because everyone looks good but I always have this internal debate on "to be in front or behind the camera?" because I like both. I don't know why people just tend to assume that if you're into fashion, taking photos of your own outfits is supposed to be your thing. Because it's not my thing hahaha well at least not yet. 1) it's really quite troublesome to take a good photo 2) when you have a limited wardrobe like me, taking a photo of what you wear one day gives you additional pressure to not wear the same thing because so many people have seen you wear it 3) most importantly, I just need to look and feel good in front of the people I'm meeting in real life rather than just for the camera (if that makes sense) but still, kudos to you if you took outfit photos of yourself this cny, for the confidence to do so, and for giving me a daily dose of inspiration. Haha gone are my days of taking photos of what I wear through my mirror /cringes/ Who knows, maybe a few months later I'm gonna be some pro at taking outfit photos if I find someone willing to be my trusty photographer. Or not. As for now, my Instagram will continue to consist of group photos and things which I find beauty in.
Besides that, it kinda hit me during this time that people around my age are so different not just from each other but from the older people around. Getting serious here. Sad to say, we're anti-social. Obviously not every single one, but just from the people I know. I mean with friends, we're great. But with relatives, it's a whole different story. Cousins you see every week are practically strangers because initiating conversations is a foreign thing. You don't just go up to a bunch of relatives you can only see once a year to talk because that's a "weird" thing to do. I feel like the older aunts and uncles are like glue holding it together. They're the ones who just gather round and start talking, and we young ones just join in. They start the card games rolling because kids NEED to be on their phones. They NEED to kill someone on the xbox. Okay this is turning to a rant but I don't know, maybe as you get older, these things become more prominent and it makes you lament about it even though you hardly do anything about it. Pretty sure not all families are like this, and if so, boy you're a lucky one, and you better hold on to it while you can. I used to think the inability to talk to relatives your age gets better when you all get older, but looks like my theory is going down the drain, unless people change!! Including me.
To break through the air of despair here, cny is still pretty fun. You can catch up with people, learn some things from the adults, win some money (hehe), watch classic Chinese movies and have a good time in general. My mom has annual meet-ups with friends from school days during this time and for me it's like a reminder to make sure I do the same next time with the great people I've got to know so far. And it's also nice to hear nostalgic stories from the past. Man, I miss Crescent!! Glad to be going back there a couple of times later this month.
Few days ago, I went out to Chinatown at 11pm just to look around and also because I wanted to take some photos but omg I can't stand my amateurish photography skills like HOW DO PEOPLE TAKE SUCH NICE PHOTOS?! I might consider getting a book to teach me how to do it because I am frickin clueless at all the camera settings and all that. Is it because my camera is a DSLR-wannabe and not a real DSLR hahaha. Okay but I picked out some of the better ones and I'll leave you with them. My uncle and his friend recently recommended a lot of old movies for me to watch and I am stoked. Will tell you about them when I finish all of them hehehe. Happy February! X
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