Letters to Alana

part i

Do not compromise who you are for anyone. Sometimes you will meet people who you want to impress, and the thought of moulding yourself into an ideal becomes incredibly tempting. It could work, but trust me on this, it is not easy to keep up a lie, especially when you are lying to yourself. There will be times when you feel so, so lonely and all you want is to feel needed and appreciated and you'll jump at any chance to feel that way, even if you know it's not going to last. But sweetheart, good things come to those who wait. I know - easier said than done, but don't compare yourself to the people around you. It took me ages to truly accept all the parts of me I disliked, but when you do, it lifts a great deal off your shoulders.

One day you will meet someone who will love every inch of your physical being (no matter how much it puzzles you, never reject that) and love the tangled mess of your mind. When that time comes, remember that you have no obligation to pretend to be someone you're not. Instead that person is going to help you become the person you've always wanted to be, and he's going to smile at you every step of the way no matter how much you doubt yourself.

You'll never know what you'll find in the darkest places, but I will be here for you when you find yourself in a maze, and even if we can't find a way out, I will walk with you always. I've realised that at seventeen, you need to trust and you need to believe, even after you've had your hopes brought up and dashed right in your face (but don't be naive). In the meantime, being real is probably the best thing you can do for yourself, and if some people don't like that, they just aren't the right ones to have in your life.