"mistakes"

If I permanently lost someone I knew for every mistake I made, I would probably be dead by now from the guilt, loneliness and depression. A very morbid way of putting it but I feel quite morbid today. There are really only two types of mistakes to me - those you're glad you made and those you still kick yourself over after a long time. I've already said what I feel about my mistakes previously, which is probably why I spent a while thinking about what to say this time. I used to be pretty sensitive, always having a hard time dealing with dejection and screwing up but I've improved on that. The world moves too fast for you to spend days dwelling on things you said and did (or didn't). I don't know what to feel when people who suffered from your mistakes forgive you faster than you forgiving yourself. Sometimes my mistakes make me feel like a hypocrite.
If mistakes were people, there would be reckless little kids giving you sheepish grins, chuckling among themselves. There would be people with nothing but folded arms and constant sadness in their eyes; people who cannot bring themselves to look you in the eye; people with clenched fists, furrowed brows and a really short fuse.
And if I could tell you one thing with all certainty, it's that your mistakes, however bad they are, add up to everything you have become. What differentiates you from a sociopath or a psychopath is how you deal with them I suppose.