"love, hurt, love"

God I was so foolish, claiming to love without any clue, blushing way too much to even look at you. But I still remember the things that attracted me to you. It was how dashing your hair made you look, the way you spoke and dressed, how the syllables of your name rang so nicely when I said it. God knows how much time I spent wondering what you did for fun, the music you liked, what you thought of me. I guess a face like yours is hard to forget.

Then comes a rude hit to the head that practically screams at me to snap out of it. Obviously I had my hopes too high. Looks like I wasn't "right enough" to be the centre of your attention and I wonder which part of me made you hesitate so much. But then this intense anger and bitterness just starts to die down when all is said and done and you become something I think about occasionally, on lonely rainy days perhaps (as cliché as that may sound). The mark you left is still there, oh no, it doesn't disappear, I just cover it up, that's all.

So now, there is no boy for me to love, and that should not be said in a self-deprecating tone; it is just a matter of fact. After struggling so much to figure out the kind of love I should be in, I've realised that I've lost the point, that you're not supposed to plan and predict but take it as it goes. I don't even know if I love myself for god's sake. You know me, I believe in fate and all that soppy romance stuff. It will be worth the wait. Meanwhile, there is so much more out there for you to love, too many to even list. Go love those instead, they won't let you down and you can count on it.