Tell me we're dreaming.

Hi there. I submitted my JAE application yesterday. I'm sure of it but I can't help but have this uneasy feeling inside, like DID I MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION?!?!?! Trading JC and all it has to offer for poly life. Tough choice man. I didn't even consider the reality of choosing between RI and HCI until the past few days which is crazy, but not as crazy as choosing between RI/HCI and TP obviously. That kinda pushed me close to a nervous breakdown. Mental. Especially when everyone has their own opinions and it just makes my head into this tangled mess of what ifs and buts. Okay but I'm sticking to what I chose and no regrets!!!
In other news, wow the past week has been absolutely insane!!! Monday was the release of the results and no doubt, I'm pleased and glad and all the synonyms for happy basically but I guess it was a bittersweet moment as well because the unfairness of it all is that not everyone can get what they want/need. Sometimes I think if it'd be better if we were put into the grade school-high school-college-work system. But, ah, well. From the look of things now, I think everyone's doing mighty fine which is great. Despite all the mad rushes this past week, I really liked it! I mean it got me talking to more people whom I never really thought I'd talk to and it's comforting to just have people around to listen sometimes. I kind of just want to hold on to this moment for a while, because some HUGE changes are coming our way and there's something about change that, albeit exciting, is really sad and scary. Well, they're called 'comfort zones' for a reason right?
So I've been kinda mentally preparing myself for what's to come. Telling myself to not be so sensitive to things sometimes, and to take criticism without shying away and to not be so afraid of rejection all the time. Basically, to stop over-thinking.
I think today's gonna be a good day! Meeting friends for dinner tonight to catch up and make use of all the time we have while we can. Next week is gonna pretty new and intimidating for me because I'm actually starting work (I actually got a job!!) and I just hope I won't screw simple things up and that people will be friendly. That's all I ask haha. And I also hope the job won't prevent me too much from going visiting during CNY because I'm really looking forward to it.
 I just finished another John Green book haha well he wrote it with another author. Will Grayson, Will Grayson. Pretty good book I'd say, I mean it's original and maybe controversial and swearing is aplenty but who cares when you have good characters? But obviously TFIOS will always always have a special place in my heart hahahaha period.
Ah what else to say, oh yesterday someone commented on one of my posts which was totally unexpected because no one has done that in ages but it was really nice! Thanks to you, if you're reading, because I don't know who you are. But it's a great way to know people and I'm up for that! :)
Well this post turned out pretty mundane but I just felt like writing. Oh and I'm actually doing that 30-day poetry challenge on tumblr!! It's fun haha maybe I'll put my favourite ones up here soon. Meanwhile the rest of my day shall be spent listening to songs that make me feel calm and tons better about everything.
Sometimes when life is shit, you just need to breathe and take a walk.

See ya x

ps. check out tarts & stuff!!