"undisclosed desires in your heart"

(I appreciate the reference to the song)

The need to belong.

This need, no matter how much we want to live up to the "I don't care what people think of me" attitude, is inscribed in us the minute we were born. If you don't already know this quote, it's one of my favourites: "We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone." - Orson Welles
Loneliness kills; it magnifies your flaws and internal battles till they're too much to handle. How nice would it be to have someone, anyone who understands the way you think without even having to ask? I am used to people asking me "why are you always so quiet?" and I am also tired of answering because I really don't know how. I do have opinions, and I want you to listen to them as much as I listen to yours.
It's a constant battle to rationalise why I feel out of place, because maybe if I make some sense out of it, I'd know how to fix it. People use strange words for reasons I do not comprehend and I feel like I don't belong. They are in stitches at remarks I hardly find amusing and I feel like I don't belong. They can do things I never had the will to accomplish and I feel like I don't belong. Surely, surely, if I just play along, eventually I will find something to give me that identity I've been longing to have.

Eventually.

It's me, it's me, I'm too detached, too serious, too hard to please. Is it me? As much as I'd hate to feel like the odd one in the room, I'd hate it even more to compromise myself just so I can fit in. God, is this how all of us feel? These are the kind of thoughts that creep up on me at night and keep me awake while my eyes are closed. And I am afraid to share them with you because I am afraid that sad truths about me will start to unravel like a loose thread. Cracks will start to show and you'll think that you're not good enough for me when I, am not good enough for you.

But if you stay, and you understand my desire to be desired, I promise you, I will fill in the cracks and I will be honest with you. Make me feel I belong and I will tell you my deepest fears as I trace the veins on your arm. Make me feel I belong and I will wake you up at ungodly hours to tell you I enjoy your mere presence. Make me feel I belong and I will return the favour, whether you're laughing at my awkwardness or crying at your worst. For you replaced my loneliness with the mellow tone of your voice and your heart of gold.